RSS Feed

Tag Archives: control

Confessions from a Control Freak

I am just dying to tell you what God has done for us during the past two weeks!  But before I get ahead of myself, I need to confess something to you:  I am a control freak.  OK.  I said it.  That’s the beginning stage of recovery, right?  Admitting I have a problem?

For those of you who don’t know me very well, I’d like to share some ways that my control manifests itself.  Keep in mind that I am only going to share the first few things that pop in my head, otherwise, we’d be here all day.

1.  I believe the roll of toilet paper should be placed with the paper coming OVER the top of the roll.

2.  I believe the towels should be folded and put away with the edges uniform and all turned the same way.

3.  I believe the way I load the dishwasher is the most effective, therefore everyone should follow my lead.

I’m stopping there, but believe me, the voices in my head were urging me to continue.  I realize that these things are insignificant, but sometimes I get really worked up when they’re not right.  That leads me to this….what is ‘right’?  Who decides which way is the right way?  Ultimately, aren’t all these trivial things that I obsess over just MY preference?  MY opinion of the way things should be done?

I must confess to you that sometimes I try to control things that only God should have control over.  God has reminded me this week that He’s got it all under control.  I need not worry!  This is what I’m dying to tell you!

We are traveling to Ghana SOON!  After we purchased our airline tickets, our adoption fund was ZERO.  Enter Christy into the scene….you know, the controlling Christy.  When I talked to the lady guiding us through this process, she said that we would need to take $3,500.00 with us to pay the remainder of our legal fees, filing of the I-600, food, hotel, etc.  WHAT?!?!?!?! We did not have it, and we only had a month to get it!  I just had to figure out a way to come up with the funds we would need while we were there.  Of course, I prayed and asked God to provide it, but doesn’t He need my help?  I mean, after all, I am a good helper. 🙂

Captain Control here swung into action.  I posted in this very blog that we needed help if anyone felt compelled to give.  I facebook-stalked all my friends and begged people to host Pampered Chef shows to help us raise funds.   We co-hosted a movie night with our good friends, the Scotts.  We asked for donations through a gun raffle.  I whined about it to my husband (that one was really helpful).  I did book some Pampered Chef shows, the movie night was a success, and we have sold some tickets for the gun raffle.  I’m not saying that God can not bless our efforts, but He has reminded me that He owns the cattle of a thousand hills.   And when we ask for His help, He hears us.

God’s ways are so much better than Captain Control’s.  While I flew around being BUSY, God was calmly working everything out for our good.  We received word last Monday that we were awarded a $1,000.00 grant from the North American Mission Board Adoption Fund for Ministers (a part of the SBC) .  Praise be to Him!  Later that week, we were given $1,000.00 from someone whom we dearly love.  Praise be to Him!  Lastly, this past Sunday, all the Sunday School classes at church took up a secret love offering.  They sweetly gave us $1,692.00.  All praise be to Him!

Did you add those gifts up?  $3,692.00!  What?  Yes!  God provided $192.00 MORE than we needed to take on our upcoming trip!  And He provided it right in the nick of time!  That’s our God.  He is always on time.  He does not need help from little miss control britches here.  He just wants our trust.  He wants our obedience.  He simply wants us.

Maybe you are at a point in your life where your control has gotten you nowhere.  I hope you are reminded today that letting God lead and control is the best and safest place for us.  His ways are always higher and better than our ways.  His ways are RIGHT.  Let Him have control.

Father, thank You for always being in control, even when I try to take that away from You.  I am so thankful that You sent Your Son to adopt me into Your family.  I do not know where I would be without that love.  I pray for safety as we travel to see our boys for the first time.  I pray that as Derek and I spend time with them, that Your love will spill out of us all over them.  I pray that the court date will be successful, and I pray that the remaining time we wait for them will pass quickly.  Father, I pray that You will keep Ivy, Sophie, and Levi within Your hedge of safety and protection.  I pray for their Grandparents who are lovingly caring for them while we are away.  Thank you for their amazing support and encouragement.  Lord, You know the control freak in me has a hard time leaving them for so long.  But You have reminded me that this thing we are doing is right, and You are good and faithful in ALL things.  In the precious, redeeming name of Jesus I pray, AMEN.